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每日一乐:看笑话学英语,在娱乐中学习-D2

2019-05-26来源:中华户外网

"I wasn't that drunk yesterday." "Oh boy, you took the shower head in your arms and told it to stop crying."

我昨天其实也没醉得那么厉害。

得了呗您呢,昨天你抱着花洒头叫他不要哭了。


 

 

Women really know how to hold a grudge. My wife asked me to pass her a lip balm. And by mistake, I gave her a tube of Super Glue. It’s been a month now and she’s still not speaking to me!

 

女人真的很记仇。我老婆让我给她递个唇膏,我不小心给她递了管强力胶。这都一个月了,她还没开口跟我讲话!

 

hold a grudge 记仇耿耿于怀记恨怀恨在心

 

  

 

How  can you tell you have a really bad case of acne? 

It’s when the blind try to read your face.

 

你知道痘痘长得真正厉害的时候是什么样子吗?

是当盲人开始在你脸上读盲文的时候。

 

acne   [皮肤] 痤疮,[皮肤] 粉刺


 

 

  

Boy complains to his father: You told me to put a potato in my swimming trunks! You said it would impress the girls at the pool! But you forgot to mention one thing! 

Father:Really, what?

Boy:That the potato should go in the front.


儿子跟父亲抱怨:你告诉在游泳池时,泳裤里放一个土豆可以博得女孩子们的青睐。但你忘了提醒我一件事。

父亲:真的吗?什么事?

儿子:土豆应该放在前面!

 

 

Sometimes it is very important if a sentence was said by a man or awoman. A good example: “I used a whole pack of tissues during that awesome movie yesterday!”

 

有时候同一句话被男人还是女人说出来意义完全不同。比如:昨天看那场精彩的电影时,我用了一整包纸巾。

 

 

Two elephants meet a totally naked guy. After a while one elephant says to theother: “I really don’t get how he can feed himself with that thing!”

两只大象遇见一个全裸的男人。过了一会,一只大象对另外一只说:我真的不知道他用他那玩意怎么给自己喂食的。

 


Whenmy wife starts to sing I always go out and do some garden work so our neighborscan see there's no domestic violence going on.

一旦我老婆开始唱歌,我一般都出去院子里干点活,这样邻居看到了就知道家里其实没有发生家庭暴力。


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